apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize