I feel like abortions should bother me more
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
