Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
