I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
