I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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