My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
