Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We had sex on a dog bed..
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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