I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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