I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
