Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
