hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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