does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
