If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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