dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
