Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
being pregnant is like rehab
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
