Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
