bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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