Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
