I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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