cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
