dude i'm inner monologue high
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
