I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
