I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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