Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize