Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
