why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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