careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
What a dumb baby whore.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
