Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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