I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
