Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
