Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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