About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
