she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize