My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
