drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
