exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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