so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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