Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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