I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
