He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
