Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
