I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
