Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
