dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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