With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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