you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
