the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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