Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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