i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
