You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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