I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
