Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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