It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
