toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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