He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
