You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
