Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
