WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
