remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
