Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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