instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
