you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize