You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
