she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
